She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
