I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize