yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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