At least make sure they are 18
Why
I could have mohawked her pubes.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
