dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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