did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
