Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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