After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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