I wanna bring you to show and tell
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
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I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
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please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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