You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
