i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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