I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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