I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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