i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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