Me too!
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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