If i come over, it means nothing
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
