please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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