you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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