Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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