he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
