we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
