Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
