tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I touched a dick in church today
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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