Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
