Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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