you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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