ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
