This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
