wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
