Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize