he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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