pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
not ubering you a puppy
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
