she kept yelling 'call me bella'
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
