Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I understand Curling. That high.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
