Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
