If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
