So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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