Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize