Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
