omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
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She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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