You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize