And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
