using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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