they need to just BURY HIM!
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
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I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
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I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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