I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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