Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
this boner is exhausting
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
