Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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