Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
