yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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