Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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