I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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