I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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