Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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