um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
