11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
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