Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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