im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
We named our party play list daddy issues
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
