oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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