If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
