just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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