There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
