So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize