..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
soo... how was my night?
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